Tales From The Trenches: Tale #14

Friends, as always, send your dating stories to mellow1422@aol.com. I can’t wait to hear from you! xoxoToday’s topic: My dating plan. Or, perhaps, I should say, my plan to enter the world of dating. See, here’s the thing. I think I’ve been going about it all wrong. The world of dating, my friends, seems (at least to this novice) like the corporate business world. Ruthless. Cutthroat. One bad day at the office after another – or, in my case, day after day of being locked out of the big office, relegated to sitting in the waiting room, awkwardly fidgeting and mentally rehearsing in my head what I’m going to say when the Big Bad Boss calls me into his office.

And yet, he never does call me into his office. That waiting room becomes sort of like a a vortex of limbo. Oh, and did I mention I’m always alone in said waiting room?

And it seems smart women (read: me) are making pretty big mistakes when it comes to dating, according to an article posted recently on TheFrisky.

So, friends, here’s what I’m going to do, and brace yourselves, because this could potentially be a very, very radical move for me; but needless to say, it’s a very, very me move.

The key to (finally!) jump-starting my long-overdue venture into the dating world?

Business cards.
Oh, yes, my friends. If the world of dating is taking on the appearance of a job, then sign me up full-time (assuming benefits are included; and no, boys, not those sorts of benefits…).

Because when you really think about it, the concept of a business card fits me. It’s all about summarizing the most important info about yourself on a 3×5 index card. And even better, that snazzy little card could probably be more effective on the whole talking front than I ever could.

Instead of my usual routine (well, OK, in the name of honesty and full disclosure, as always, my apparent lack of a routine or “game plan” as the cool kids call it these days), all I’d have to do now is lock eyes on the job (ooops, I mean guy) I want, casually smile and whip out my card.
And to make it even more razzle dazzle, I could put some pull-quotes on the back…you know, sort of like those attention-grabbing BUY THIS BOOK quotes from reviewers on the back of best-sellers. I’d love to put these recent comments from readers on the back, as a sort of recommendation. My references, if you will.

I love your writing and witty intellect! Mr. melissa blake is one lucky guy. He just doesn’t know it yet 😉

You take it with grace and humor, and I love your honesty.

I love reading your posts. I love that you embrace you who are without hesitation and that you are eager for someone to take you as you are and you lay it all on the line disability or not.

Someone worthy of you is out there I am sure of it, and you will end up happier than all of us in then end for it, because you are a rare gem in your candor and your hopefulness.

See, it’s as simple as that. What do you think? Would anyone like to make me a set of these business cards? Let the dating fun begin!

[Photos via Le Love and We Heart It]