Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
The college years. Now, I know what sorts of things can go on in college, mind you. I’m not as naive as all that. But me? I never really cared about doing that or being part of that scene. It, well, frankly seemed like a giant waste of time. Still, going from the tiny bubble of high school, the prospect of a giant campus, thousands of students (would they stare at me as if I’d just left the circus troupe?) and doing it all myself (it would be the first time since kindergarten that I didn’t have an individual aide with me) terrified me. I know I came home at least a few days crying and saying I wasn’t cut out for college. Honestly, I felt like an even smaller fish in an even larger pond. Did I belong? Heck, college life didn’t seem at all like they portrayed it on Dawson’s Creek or even on Saved By The Bell: The College Years. Where was my Zack Morris and my student lounge hangout?
Anyway, as I’m writing this now back in 2009, I’m slowly realizing that college was the first time in my life that I’d wish I’d known you. Midway through my sophomore year, my father father committed suicide in 2003. Just as I was growing up, I suddenly felt like such a little girl again. I was so alone. My father had left his family, abandoned us. It pained me to realize that he, of all people, was so proud of my college success (he’d sit down and meticulously read everything I wrote), and he would never see me graduate. But I had to go on. I suppose I had no choice. I’m not sure how I managed to study – let alone graduate – with his death overshadowing me entire life (an adrenaline rush maybe), but I so wish you could have been around then. If only to hold me and tell me everything would be alright at a time when nothing seemed right at all. It’s strange somewhat in that way, isn’t it? To miss someone you’ve never even met?
But, as I always do, I stuck with it – OK, with a little (maybe a lot) of prodding and support from my mom, especially after my father’s death) – and by my junior year, I eventually had found my stride. I’m not quite sure where it came from, but I gained a sort of confidence I’d never felt before. True, I was still that awkward, shy girl who doesn’t always say the right things at the right time (am I still that way, Sweetpea?), but I suppose I’d come to embrace that. I had become part of my identity, and frankly, I was starting to love this side of me.
It also didn’t hurt that I’d continued to fall in love with journalism while working on my college’s newspaper. I started out as a columnist, moved to copy editor and by my senior year was a full-on, hard-hitting reporter. Oh my, being in the newsroom was an intoxicating experience for me. I shined. I felt like Woodward and Bernstein. I spent my days interviewing administrators, faculty and students to get the stories that mattered. Did I mention that many of my stories (OK, I’m being too modest here – MOST) appeared on the front page? Multiple times per week?
How sexy is that? Go ahead, picture me in the newsroom, wearing my oversized specs, my hair all messed up and a pencil tucked behind my ear. It’s OK. It is sort of hot, actually.
So, what were you like in college? I’m assuming you went to college and graduated? Not to sound too elitist, but you know I like my men smart. But please don’t tell me you were one of those annoying hipsters who sat on a grassy knoll reading poetry and strumming his guitar. I’m not sure I could even handle that.
Oh, and did I mention that I graduated with a 3.93 GPA? Does that intimidate you or turn you on in a sexy, but not-until-we’re-married kind of way?
Until we meet…
you are amazing, do you know that?!
i love your writing and witty intellect! mr. melissa blake is one lucky guy. he just doesn't know it yet 😉
btw i'm sorry to hear about your father.
how cute are you, melissa?!
The Girl with the Rudolph Nose says
I had really started to miss your blog (I've been a little absent this week). I can't wait for your future husband to appear and read all these wonderful letters!
I love this letter… you are really smart.
Melissa! i love you! and all of your posts! you're amazing!!!
Earlier this year I sent out this video to illustrate how the current administration is masquerading as a leadership team different from the previous one. The video documents how the choice between Democrat and Republican is really no choice at all. Recent history has confirmed the message of this video. Here we are almost a year after Bush left office and we see that really only the rhetoric has changed. The same program of economic, military, and civil rights disintegration remains in full effect. The sequel to this video is now available to shed more light on this false choice of governance. This sequel exposes: 1) how mega banks like Goldman Sachs created this financial crisis to then introduce their solution: a government hand-out of trillions of dollars to them; 2) how this same scheme is being set up again on a global scale through the development of a cap-and-trade derivatives market; 3) how Obama is simply managing this economic disintegration program that was furthered by Bush (and his predecessors) going back as far as Carter; 4) how Obama's actions have been just as unconstitutional as Bush's and how our country is being pushed deeper into an oppressive surveillance society. The sooner we acknowledge this false choice of governance we are given, the better the chances are that we can produce a real choice that represents us, not the institutionalized power structure pillaging us. If you would like to learn more about the timely issues raised in these videos please visit this alternative news website, where these videos were produced.
What a fantastic post! Maybe I should do one of these…?
Jamie Jenson says
I am not your future husband (lucky for you!), but I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed the recent sneak peeks into your history. What an amazing story you have! You go, girl!
Melissa Blake says
I'm glad you're enjoying them, Jamie!
um ADORABLE. you are such a brilliant girl!! : )
love it, LOVE this idea!
so Spiffy April Marie Girl Japan says
I was falling asleep in biology class… as the words from my professor just seem to sound like babble after a three hour class…