Hello, my friends. Today’s tale comes to us from my old classmate, Michelle. We went to middle school and high school together, can you believe it? She tells us on this lovely Tuesday about the time she learned more about herself by trying to help someone else…
As a happily married woman, I didn’t think that my heart could be taken by another. But as a fairly sheltered individual, I don’t have friends to turn to when times are tough. So, with no job and my husband being the only one that works due to the bad economy, and me stuck at home, I was part of something called Second Life. It’s more of a social interaction program rather than a game…and I found out it’s all in how you treat it.
I met this European DJ at one of the many SL online clubs that exist, one I frequented on a regular basis because it played the music that I loved. Like one of many, I’m sure, I enjoyed his witticisms and charisma. We spoke often and had good conversations. As is my nature, I found out he was a brokenhearted soul, and I wanted to take care of him. (I can’t help it; I’m very nurturing.) The problem was, I didn’t say anything until it was too late, and he already had a girlfriend. Yet, as I say all this, I am still happily married!!
All the badgering, tears and explanations in the world couldn’t change the situation or change his mind. In fact, all it did was push him away and upset him. The most amazing thing in the world is, I told my husband everything and he wasn’t angry. Not at all, and he has tried to be closer to me, which I pray will help heal the deep gash within my soul. The game of Second Life, where we all try to pretend to be what we are not, can hurt just as deeply as somebody you actually know telling you that you are not worthy of their heart.
What I have learned from this experience is this: the Internet, though it connects us all, is also a driving force of making one feel more alone, and bringing out the worst in one’s self. We can have friends, or we can have enemies. All I know is that somehow, even though we can be totally surrounded by loved ones and family, we can still be completely alone. And I think when we have a hole within ourselves, we still want someone else to fill it. The human heart is one of connection and one that needs to be sustained, and too much of a need for that pushes people away. I tried to find something in this man that I should be looking for within. No one else can like you if you hate yourself.
Though I will go on, and probably laugh about this in the future, with my husband holding my hand, I think that today is the day the music died. I’m not sure if the music will ever be the same.
[Photo via Audrey Hepburn Complex]