I’ve never understood the term falling in love. Well, not its true meaning anyway. The term always seemed like a misnomer to me, a sort of paradox. When you’re supposedly “falling” in love, it’s not like you’re falling down some dark rabbit hole you’ll never be able to crawl our of. It’s more like you’re riding a rainbow of happiness higher and higher until you begin to see the tips of white clouds and lush blue skies.
And then I met this friend.* Let’s just say she can feel herself getting into a situation – one she never, ever, under any circumstances thought she’d be in.
She’s, well, possibly, maybe, could-be looking in the direction of someone she shouldn’t be. I mean, really, really shouldn’t be. As in, “OMG, how did I (ooops, I mean she) get here and become this person?” shouldn’t be.
Because after all, she never pictured herself as that girl. She used to reprimand those sorts of girls. She had the strength of an iron fist in her righteousness. At one time, she was content to do her ogling, giggling and swooning from afar – sometimes painfully afar, so far that she’d have to travel halfway around the world to even get to the category of afar. Now that she sometimes finds herself doing it up-close-and-personal style, she’s not sure exactly how she feels about it.
And the more she tries to convince herself that it’s most definitely not happening, she knows deep down that it is indeed happening. It’s spiraling out of control and getting even worse with each passing day. She’s ashamed yet she’s not. She feels defeated yet incredibly strong for the first time in a long time, probably for the first time since her father died.
Why is it that we seem to fall so hard for the one person we’re not supposed to fall for? Seriously. Of the billions of men in the world, she wonders why she had to ever fall for him.
But, then, I suppose that’s what makes it so intoxicating in the first place, doesn’t it? The fact that we can’t – or we’re not supposed to want to – have the one thing that will make us swoon with delight.
She, my friend, remember, wants this whole thing to end like a Disney fairytale. It probably won’t. Knowing her luck, it will end like one of those Brothers Grimm nightmares.
What’s your advice? You know, so I can pass it on to my friend. She asked me to post this for her. She’s counting on you. Desperately.
[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex]
*I think we all know this friend’s identity
Man Candy Monday.
Man Candy Monday.
What decade do you belong in?
undomestic chica says
Although I can't give you any advice, I can tell you we've all been there. I was in love with the wrong guy for four years. Not just the wrong guy but so-completely-wrong-he's-now-an-alcoholic-and-still-makes-horrible-decisions-wrong. Maybe somebody else will have advice, but just know that you're not alone.
Melissa Blake says
I'm sorry undomestic chica! That sounds like a tough situation.
With me, I've known this guy since high school, but I think he has a girlfriend, hence the whole Mr. Wrong thing… lol
Melanie's Randomness says
I have constantly dialed Mr. Wrong. He is not right for me & he is not the one for me. I can feel in my bones that it's just wrong & will continue in a viscous cycle til I stop calling & trying. But I love him. I love the guy he sometimes shows me. However it doesn't last. Maybe your friend should really sit down by herself and think hard & honestly about this man. Think about what it would be like in truth if she had him? Would it be the perfect fairytale? Also every girl deserves to have a guy go after her at least in some way and if he isn't trying then unfortunately it might be like fighting an ocean. So my advice is to really sit & think about the reality of it, which I know is a hard thing to do, Im trying to convince myself to do the same, but really maybe it'll help? Or maybe she needs to find a Mr. Semi-Right to show her how wrong, Mr. Wrong is? Good luck we're all in this boat together.
Anonymous says
台灣處亞熱帶最適於它的繁殖,危害最嚴重的有家白蟻及大和白蟻。在每年四月至九月間,一大群白蟻集體飛出巢穴追逐(颱風或大雨來臨之前)雌雄配對後,迅速地脫落翅膀, … 在台灣,住的房子雖多為鋼筋水泥,但早期居住的木造房子,就常受到白蟻的侵蝕。
Lola says
Is this not a common dilemma for all women? I'm trying to just ignore all men at the moment, because all that ever ends up happening is that I get hurt. Of course this ignoring thing only works so well and for so long. I don't really have any advice for you though I'm afraid. I wouldn't be good to take advice from, I think. I've only ever had one boyfriend, we were together for almost two years. The bulk of that time he was abusing me and those are days I wish to never repeat.
I've only just found your blog thanks to my friend The Drifter and the Gypsy, but I really like it. Do you have a 120 x 70 button I could use to link to you from my blog (or can I have permission to make you one)?
I hope things work out for you.
xx
Melissa Blake says
Hi, Lola — glad you like my blog! I don't have a button, so feel free to make one for your blog!
...Seyma... says
wow it sounds pretty complicated!! well i have to admit: i've been through the same period.. fell in love with the one i shouldn't have actually.. and i'm married to that guy right now.. there's this saying: good girls goes after naughty guys. and that's true.. it happens most of the time to most of us. there are times i desperately say "shit!! we were not supposed to get married". but here we are now.. can't be together but can't be separated either issue.. well, life goes on anyway..
so hope things'll end up perfect for you.. wish you the best guy ever dear cause you deserve it..
love..
Anonymous says
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Sallie Ann says
Awww.. this is such a common little "pickle," both guys and girls find themselves in. I definitely have a former-Sweetheart that I keep turning to when I'm not feeling fantastic, and in the end, it just makes me feel worse. There is this great book called, Choosing Me Before We, by Christine Arylo. It's such a great tool and helped me oodles on my path to a good, fun relationship. Be your best self, and a big, warm hug!
Melissa Blake says
Thanks for the book suggestions, Sallie! 🙂