I’ve never understood the term falling in love. Well, not its true meaning anyway. The term always seemed like a misnomer to me, a sort of paradox. When you’re supposedly “falling” in love, it’s not like you’re falling down some dark rabbit hole you’ll never be able to crawl our of. It’s more like you’re riding a rainbow of happiness higher and higher until you begin to see the tips of white clouds and lush blue skies.
And then I met this friend.* Let’s just say she can feel herself getting into a situation – one she never, ever, under any circumstances thought she’d be in.
She’s, well, possibly, maybe, could-be looking in the direction of someone she shouldn’t be. I mean, really, really shouldn’t be. As in, “OMG, how did I (ooops, I mean she) get here and become this person?” shouldn’t be.
Because after all, she never pictured herself as that girl. She used to reprimand those sorts of girls. She had the strength of an iron fist in her righteousness. At one time, she was content to do her ogling, giggling and swooning from afar – sometimes painfully afar, so far that she’d have to travel halfway around the world to even get to the category of afar. Now that she sometimes finds herself doing it up-close-and-personal style, she’s not sure exactly how she feels about it.
And the more she tries to convince herself that it’s most definitely not happening, she knows deep down that it is indeed happening. It’s spiraling out of control and getting even worse with each passing day. She’s ashamed yet she’s not. She feels defeated yet incredibly strong for the first time in a long time, probably for the first time since her father died.
Why is it that we seem to fall so hard for the one person we’re not supposed to fall for? Seriously. Of the billions of men in the world, she wonders why she had to ever fall for him.
But, then, I suppose that’s what makes it so intoxicating in the first place, doesn’t it? The fact that we can’t – or we’re not supposed to want to – have the one thing that will make us swoon with delight.
What’s your advice? You know, so I can pass it on to my friend. She asked me to post this for her. She’s counting on you. Desperately.
[Photos via Audrey Hepburn Complex]
*I think we all know this friend’s identity