Oooops! The One In Which I E-masculate The Poor Boy.

As you know, I grew up a bit behind my peers in many areas of life, and subsequently, this has rendered me the last in my group to reach many milestones people my age have already crossed and are on the other side of the finish line drinking their flavored Gatorade.

Until today. In working on a blog piece (look for it in the coming weeks), I realized I desperately needed the male perspective. A few emails and days later, I get a lovely response from David. Remember him? He’s the one who helped me confirm that awkward is the new cool when he commented on my intense upper-body strength, saying:

Yes it’s you. You intimidated with me your freakishly strong arm wrestling skills & now I’m frighten I’ve met a girl that could kick my ass!

So I was rather surprised when I found this little gem from him in my inbox this morning (well, maybe it wasn’t such a gem, but I’ll get to that in a moment…):

I think you should know that your arm strength frightens me. Ad [sic] if it frightens me, there is a good chance is frightens other men as well. So you may want to keep that little fact about yourself a secret. 😉

Now, you all know I’m a very reasonable, down-to-earth girl. I don’t fly off the handle too often; I keep my little self in check. I have an amazing ability to keep a straight face while internally rolling my eyes and laughing at the person. They never even suspect a thing.

But this? Nope, I’m sorry. There are some things I refuse to keep quiet about. And you know what? My sheer strength ranks pretty much on the top of that list, right below my ability to…..FINALLY EMASCULATE a member of the opposite sex. I sent him this reply, in which I upheld my values of true honesty.

And why on earth would I keep my strength a secret? I’m sorry if you can’t handle it. 😉 Have a good day!

Can’t you just hear the tone of sarcasm in that last sentence? It’s even more patronizing than those telemarketers who actually ask you how you’re doing (like they really care that I spent my day ogling Robert Pattinson for the umpteenth time….)

Wow. Wow. Wow.

It was quite, thrilling, I must say. I feel sorry for the poor boy, actually, though. How demoralizing it must be knowing that some girl thousands of miles away will forever be stronger than him. That she should take him down with just one of her arms – and did I ever mention that as a result of my basilar invagination, I still have some residual weakness in my right hand? Even with that, the poor boy is still scared of my power.

I just hope I don’t cause him to take to the bottle, be they intoxicating drinks or prescription pills.

So don’t let anyone ever tell you to hide one of the best parts of you. They’re probably just jealous. Frankly. it’s their loss. And in the case of David, it would literally be his loss, wouldn’t it?

P.S. And it’s and, not ad. You may be emasculated, but that doesn’t mean you have to be a poor speller, too.

[Photos via We Heart It]