Oh, You’re Just Silly, Rich Santos.

Dear Rich (aka Marie Claire’s Male Blogger):

I must confess: I love your blog, but if I’m being completely honest (and when am I not?), I have a slight problem with one of your posts about your co-worker who chose to display her love for her boyfriend in a fashionable way.

The backstory for those not in the know: Once upon a time, lovely Rich’s co-worker, Jenn, met a nice man from Denmark on New Year’s. After spending a romantic week together, Mr. Denmark returned to, well, Denmark. Flash-forward a few months – and a romantic Valentine’s Day gift to Jenn from her foreign flame – and Mr. Denmark was coming back to town. What did she do? Well, I’ll just let Rich explain the “heinous” crime she committed:

Just a day before her Dane’s visit, Jenn showed up and quickly drew a throng of female co-workers around her. As I approached, I noticed female co-workers leaving the circle with pensive and slightly disturbed looks on their faces as if they were walking away from a snake exhibit after getting a close look at the specimen inside. When I got into the huddle, I saw the source of the ruckus: Jenn had decided to paint the flag of Denmark on her toenails.

And? what? That’s it? With all that build-up, Rich, I must say I’m a bit disappointed. With the way you described her as “going psycho,” I was at least expecting something a little reminiscent of Rosemary’s Baby or Fatal Attraction. But a simple design on her toes? OMG! That’s just too much to handle.

I really fail to see how she was the psycho one here. Really, she was just following his lead. After all, he was the one who sent her the special teddy bear and chocolates for Valentine’s Day — that’s a little more than a month since they’d met, right? Yikes, he sounds sort of, how would I put it…needy, desperate, maybe even a bit lonely. Or maybe he just didn’t find any Danish Dames and wanted to make sure he had a nice girl waiting and pining for him all the way across the pond. You know, so he’d have someone to go home to?

But wait, I forgot: men are allowed to make declarations of love without any consequences or criticism, but women aren’t. When women do it, it’s not romantic or whimsical or even cute. It’s just crazy, right? Oh, Rich, you’re so right. What she did? Well, that’s just about as crazy as emblazoning your chest with a painting of your favorite sport team’s logo. It’s juat about as crazy as freaking out over your Fantasy Football teams. It’s just about as crazy as…well, men.

So what if the girl thought it was a fun idea? At least nail polish wears off. It could have been a lot worse. She could have tattooed his name on any given part of her body. Or she could have gotten a dog and named him Denmark. Remember, it could always be worse. Always.

If someone did that for me, I’d think it was a sweet gesture from a sweet person, not a desperate cry for an intervention.

But what do I know? I just might be another one of those ‘psychos.’

P.S. This phrase “she explained that her and her guy” should be “she explained that she and her guy.” Just for future reference…

[Photo via flickr]