Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #34

Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:

Every woman, whether she admits it or not, suffers from an acute case of tunnel vision when she first spots a guy. She can’t help but zero in on that one trait she finds simply irresistible. Now, I can’t presume to know what your trigger trait is because, obviously, every woman is different – some go for the deep blue eyes, others prefer the tousled brown hair. I’m an arm and shoulders girl myself. I go weak in the knees for the arms of a strong Heartland farmer and the broad shoulders to match (remember my teenage obsession with the nude model/lifeguard? You could fry an egg on his back in the summertime).

But beyond that, guess what? There’s a whole mess of subtleties we notice. And FYI, slick stud, none of them have anything even remotely to do with however hot you think you are or even if you sport the abs of a Greek god (yeah, right. Like you haven’t used that line once or twice….or three times). Scared yet? You should be.

I’m getting the feeling that you probably did a lot of staring at me when we first met, maybe (OK, probably) not for the right reasons like my beautiful mind and shiny red hair. Maybe you were intimidated – it’s happened before. Maybe you just simply didn’t know what to say or how to talk to me (tip: it helps if you open your mouth first….).

So I figure it’s time for a dose of your own medicine.

Read on, Sweetpea…

We notice how you interact with other women: I once sat in a computer lab with a handsome guy in front of me. He was hot, for sure, but then he called the young woman next to him, “Ma’am.” With that one word, his sexiness factor increased exponentially for me. There’s nothing hotter than a man who is polite and respectful; it’s one of the first things we women notice. If a guy is sweet and a good listener, chances are he’s a keeper. FYI: These same rules apply to how you treat you mother, boys, so for your sake, you better treat her well.

We notice how you carry yourself: Confidence is like chocolate. It’s sweet and delicious in small doses, but one overdose can make you swear it off for life. So if you’re the type of guy who swaggers into a room (Read: LA Hot Shot), why not make the swagger into a casual stroll. On the other hand, when a man knows what he’s talking about without sounding too conceited? Well, that’s just about the sexiest thing there is! So walk that balance beam carefully.

We notice when your dorky side shows: Most guys are afraid to admit they still have a comic book collection or still have their Star Wars action figures, but I actually think those sorts of things are what make a man H-O-T. And when he admits it, he moves up a notch on the temperature gauge. There was a reason everyone fell in love with The O.C.’s Seth Cohen, and it wasn’t because he lived in a cool California mansion. A guy’s dorky side is cute, so why doesn’t he show it more often?

We notice how you treat animals: Ever wonder why so many women love taking their dog to dog parks? The park is bursting at the seams with other dogs – and their gorgeous male owners! Chances are, a man who adores a Dalmatian also has a kind a gentle soul. And don’t forget, it could also be a good indication of the sort of father he’d be – the guy, not the dog, though I suppose the same theory would apply in both cases. But don’t go getting any ideas…it’s not like we think you’re our soul mate and the father of our future children or anything crazy like that.

xoxo,

[Photos via ffffound]