A guy friend of mine recently gave me this tome of wisdom: Bad girls are temporary entertainement; good girls are the ones you choose to spend your life with.
I’m not convinced of that. Not really, anyway. Remember what the poodle-skirt blonde said in Cry Baby?
“I am so tired of being good.”
You see, when I was younger – and maybe even more now – I thought that movie was made for me, based on my life. My sheltered life is more like it, actually.
I never had any desire to be a mean girl. At first, that is. Then I “met” Blair Waldorf. This girl has moxie. This girl has street smarts – well, at least Upper East Side Street smarts, which is all that really matters. This girl could reduce any of us “nice” girls to puddles of tears with one turn of her head, her brown hair perfectly coiffed in a designer headband, of course, and one glare of her eyes.
I hate being known as the “good” girl. It’s a curse, really. Bad girl get what they want. Good girls just get it.
Good girls are, well, good, for one. They’re the sort of girls your boyfriend’s mother would love. They’re the sort of girls who do everything right — with a smile, of course. They’re the sort of girls who always remain prim and proper.
I’ve heard it all, every good girl platitude you could possibly give someone. I’m so responsible. I’m such a caring person. I’m such a studious little goody-goody.
“You’re so good” is my least favorite phrase in the English language. People may have thought it was the nicest compliment in the world, but all I heard were words that stung, that patronized me – the adult equivalent of patting a child on the head while saying another one of my no-no phrases, “You’re so cute.”
And do you know what I want to say in response (but I don’t because I’m a good girl, remember): BLAH. BLAH. BLAH.
It’s actually a rather confining and boring life, keeping up this whole good girl thing. I imagine it’s the equivalent of those old-time corsets that women wore – you just want to break out of them and BREATHE!
The problem? Women can seamlessly take off the “bad girl” crown and trade it in for a shiny “good girl” crown. Society would of course applauds her for “turning her life around” and making a new life for herself.
But what about good girls who want to tango with being a bad girl, even if only for awhile? We can’t go that way. We’re shunned. We’re chastised. We’re labeled. For life, it seems.
Once you’re a “good girl”? Well, there’s simply no going back. That crown is welded to your skull like a Scarlett Letter.
Now, I don’t begrudge other good girls (although, maybe if I did, I’d eventually morph into Blair Waldorf). The world needs it’s share of good girls.
And I’m also not saying I want to be a perpetual bad girl. But it would be nice to just step across to the other side, if only for a day. If only for the reactions and glares I’d get from other people. Can you imagine their faces? Little old me, a vivacious vixen. I’m not talking about breaking the law here – wouldn’t want to give anyone a heart attack – but just doing something rash and a little rebellious for me, you know? Maybe walk in a zigzag instead of that damn straight line I’m always walking. It could be exciting. It could be an eye-opening experience. At the very least, it has to give me a jolt of energy.
So how exactly do I become a walking-talking-Chanel-toting Blair? How do I taste the sweet nectar of that forbidden fruit? For one, I need to stop being Ms. Nice all the time. Remember those books from the ’80s about all those girls (I think they were circles or something)? There was Ms. Nice, Ms. Crabby (Ms. Bashful?) Anyway, I need to stop playing Ms. Nice and maybe get my hands a little dirty – metaphorically speaking, of course. Hard. With a little devil flair — that’ll be me. Maybe.
I even think that eventually I could reduce Ms. Waldorf to tears. That’s how the game is played, right, B?
[Photo by We Heart It]
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The Cottage Cheese says
You know Mel, Halloween is the perfect time to be your "bad girl for a day". One can get away with being a completely different person on Halloween.
But I still think being a good girl with a smidge of bad girl hidden away is fun. In my 20's, perhaps I let the bad girl out too often. But it was fun…
Couture Carrie says
Gorgeous post and pics. It definitely pays in the long run to be a good girl!
xoxox,
CC
Dionne says
I too am a Good Girl. But a friend of mine who is a reformed Bad Girl tells me that back when she was a BG, she hated Good Girls because they good do no wrong. I really think in the end, the Good Girls win. Bad Girls all eventually get traded in for Good Girls.
If I wasn't a Good Girl, I never would have married the man of my dreams.
Cindy says
I LOVE this post because I totally agree. But you see… I don't think it's that black and white. I consider myself a VERY good girl, but I've done my share of naughty things in life. So no way! Don't stop being Ms. Nice… we need goodness in the world. Naughtiness is carried on the inside… and you're plenty naughty. You laugh at your self, you write notes to your future husband, and of course you have this awesome blog that we know your mom won't read because of TMI ;-p I think the way to rock the boat is by questioning everything and by living an honest life that does NOT bend in odd ways just to appease society. So carry the "GG" on your chest with absolute pride… and be as naughty as you want to be in the process.
Freckle and Hyde says
Hmmm… Interesting post. "There is a time and a place for everything." I see no reason why you can't be a little of both {it works for me :)}.
ScrewedUp20Something says
Why do we have to be one or the other? Why do we need to be put into a category? I don't consider myself a good girl or a bad girl.
I'm a straight A student, a good employee, I follow "the rules" when they make sense to me. I'm a total Suzy Homemaker in the sense that I love to cook, don't mind cleaning, and love having someone to take care of. I have excellent manners and etiquette, moms love me, and grandmothers too. I can converse about politics, religion, world events, Martha Stewart and all things domestic.
But I go out, I drink too much sometimes, I sleep with whomever I want (when I'm not in a relationship.) I talk about music, books, sex, fetish, the crazy drunken escapades I've had in various cities with various people. I'm a demon in the sack, I'm sexy, sassy and smart.
I'm just me, no good or bad about it.
Melissa Blake says
sexy, sassy and smart — I love it! 🙂
Faux Trixie says
I'm a huge bitch who basically has to bullshit for a living. Yeah, I guess I have my soft side, but I think I'm probably a bad girl. I love it.
Melissa Blake says
You know, Faux, I somewhat credit you for pulling me over to the other side a bit. 🙂
superchance says
LOVE this….. it's so eloquently presented and who hasn't wanted to cross the line to check it out?? I always had wanted to and finally did when I turned 30…( awhile ago) I was hard core flirt w guys hang with the best of em reel em in and after nights of crazy fun, when it came to part ways with them they would finally remember to ask my name, to which i would respond with my initials only. And when they asked for a number to call i wold say , "o we don't really need to pretend that you're going to call or that I am … we had a fun night > It is what it is… thanks for the memories … great to meet u…." And I would hop into my Jeep and take off. Sorta the whole Boomerang thing in reverse. And it ROCKED for awhile. and then i went back to sweet ol nice me… but it was totally awesome to play my alter ego for that period of time!!! Thanks for this one.. it was fun to walk down that memory lane!!!!
Sandra says
As a couple people have pointed out, I definitely don't think it's that black and white. I am one of those people who also works hard, is a good friend, doesn't drink, smoke, do drugs, have sex or step out of line once in a while. That doesn't mean I don't have a nasty, manipulative, selfish side to me that comes out once in a while. I play both sides though I would say my bad girl side is a little more subtle, and as a result more effective.
I like being the good girl. It's just who I am, and if it wasn't, then I'd have changed a long time ago.
Fuzzy Lumpkins says
I know exactly how you feel.
Amanda Mitchell says
Oh wowee! I can so relate to your post! My advice would be to DRESS like a bad girl. Even if it's just for one night. I do this occasionally, and it helps me let off some steam – which is very necessary when dealing with the stress and responsibility of being a good girl.
I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be completely irresponsible. For a moment the freedom of it is intoxicating…then I laugh, because I know, it's just not me.
Elisa says
Too funny, I was going to say "Isn't that what Halloween is for?!" Thus the abudance of "sexy time" costumes in Halloweed stores and online!
I have gone from one end of the spectrum to the other and am only now pulling a balanced medium(ish.) I was the quintessential girl-next-door growing up. Straight A's, perfect boyfriend for 4 years, first seated flute in the school band, choir girl and student director, church youth group, loving daughter…are you getting the idea?
Then I learned there's a time and a place for everything, and it is called college. I drank, I partied, I slept with people (probably a few too many people,) I played with people's emotions, I used and manipulated, I was popular and fun and thought I loved it. But one day (while watching a McDonald's Happy Meal commercial) I suddenly burst into tears. I realized that on the surface the wild, reckless bad girl life is great, but when you live it day in and day out it is exhausting and not all that great for your self esteem.
The thing I learned from both experiences is that there are appealing facets to both, and you don't necessarily have to EXTREMELY be one or the other. You can be a little of both, and the ride is pretty damn fantastic!
Melissa Blake says
great story, Elisa!
Anonymous says
I feel that. I've pretended to be bad girl for a day every now and then. Totally worth it. Try it!
Mas says
Even though this comment is 8 years too late, I want to say that I feel the same. I’m always the good daughter, the good girl who follows all the rules. I regret being the good girl because I am now this bitter and lonely woman watching from the sidelines as the not-so good and bad girl having all things I wanted in life. It’s too late to be a bad girl at my age, but I will not live whatever left of my life following all the rules set for me by society and my family.