• Home
  • About Me
    • My Bio
    • Sponsor Info
    • Giveaways
    • My Other Freelance Writing
    • Video Hello
    • blogging advice
  • Love + Relationships
    • Dating
    • Engagements
    • Letters to my future husband
    • Love Lounge
    • marriage
    • Memo To Men
    • Open Letters
    • Singlehood
    • virginity
    • Weddings
  • Fashion + Style
    • beauty
    • do or don’t
    • fashion
    • hair
    • jewelry
    • men’s fashion
    • women’s fashion
  • Art + Design
    • art
    • design
    • dream home
    • flowers
    • illustration
    • Photographs
    • posters
    • tattoos
    • typography
  • Disability Dialogue
    • body image
    • Dating
    • Dating With Disabilities
    • depression
    • disabilities in the media
    • Disability
  • Life + Leisure
    • babies
    • birthday
    • books
    • dream vacation
    • Entertainment and Media
    • etsy love
    • family
    • food
    • gift guide
    • holidays
    • In The Pursuit of Happiness
    • link love
    • magazines
    • Man Candy
    • movies
    • music
    • peek inside
    • Shopping
    • TV
    • would you rather

Monday, August 3, 2009

MEMO TO MEN: Take Your Cue From These Guys.

MEMORANDUM
TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: A concerned citizen
RE: Your “uncomfortableness” with disabilities
DATE: August 3, 2009

So I found this interesting site as I was browsing the Big Old Web (an activity that has become the equivalent of a dating life, I suppose) and came across GirlsAskGuys.

EUREKA, I thought to myself (I figured actually shouting it out loud, in public, might get me one glare too many); it was sort of like stumbling upon my own sociological study opportunity. So, I signed myself up and posted this question – the site allows you to post your most perplexing love and relationship questions and get feedback from other members.

My question (you can probably guess what I asked): Why is a woman’s physical disability such a dealbreaker for guys??

Now, I didn’t actually expect anyone to respond, but by the next day, I had these messages from guys waiting for me.

I don’t know exactly what type of disability you have, but I can tell you my story. I dated a girl when I was younger who was missing several of her fingers. It never bothered me and I always held her hand anyways. Whenever she asked me what I thought about it, I simply told her “if this is the way this old earth brought you into it, then you are perfect the way you are.” And you know what? I’m still crazy for her and I would never change her for anything. I guess the point I am trying to make is that it is a really shallow world out there, but you can find some truly deep souls, and when you do, they won’t care what body your spirit holds. Just stay confident in you and don’t give up.

As a guy I can speak on general guy thoughts. It really is up to an individual to determine what your story means to them.

On the whole, most guys can see past the disability. The key is the age factor. Men mature a lot slower than women. Things like intelligence and deep connection take longer to develop. Their teenage thoughts of physical beauty and attraction get reinforced every single day in the commercial world of make believe. Sadly, some men never leave this ideal ( as some women too). I would say most men have a point in their lives where being comfortable with their choices in what makes them happy can overcome some areas of unknown. Disability being one.

For me, I think I did not appreciate the human spirit until I was 28. I can tell you I have friends who will never reach that place. I’ve also had other friends that made that transition sooner than me. Before then, I was only concerned with my success and those things that could be perceived from it. Now that’s not to say I was a cold unfeeling person, far from it! But I could not understand how to be happy with myself and those choices that make me happy. It simply took time.

My biggest advice is stay yourself and don’t let others tell you otherwise. He is out there. There’s no doubt you have an uphill battle at first blink BUT I swear to you, good men (not boys) fall in love with personality and deep connections. The rest of chemistry takes care of itself.

So, guys, it looks like you’re not all as bad as a certain guys. Thank you for re-instilling me with a small glimmer of hope! At least for now….but you know I’m always watching.

xoxo,

[Photos via We Heart It]

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Email

6 Comments Filed Under: Disability, Love Lessons, Memo To Men, Uncategorized


Warning: Use of undefined constant rand - assumed 'rand' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/customer/www/melissablakeblog.com/public_html/wp-content/themes/melissa-blake/functions.php on line 179

Related Posts

  • Wise Words From Readers: Let’s get organized…Wise Words From Readers: Let’s get organized…
  • How I Feel (In 5 Photos) Wednesday.
  • Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #24Letters To My Future Husband: Letter #24
  • Chocolate peppermint roll

Comments

  1. Brian says

    Monday, August 3, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    I've never really thought about this before. I don't know the answer.

    It's kind of a broad brush you're painting guys with, and disability is also a pretty broad term also.

    Reply
  2. Melissa Blake says

    Monday, August 3, 2009 at 2:54 pm

    It's been my experience, Brian. I'd love it if you could show me other guys who could prove me wrong. 🙂

    Reply
  3. mamajohnjohn says

    Monday, August 3, 2009 at 4:55 pm

    Thank you for sharing Melessa!

    It's very interesting, and agree with the guys about difference between "boys" n "men". That's a very good example!

    So one of the answers to your long-term question is, the thing is not where they are, but HOW MATURE they are!

    Reply
  4. camille says

    Monday, August 3, 2009 at 4:56 pm

    yeah! keep the hope and don't sell yourself short!

    you are amazing, i wish i had your personality and spunk

    Reply
  5. Viewtiful_Justin says

    Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    I agree that men mature slowly. Very, very slowly. And sometimes not at all.

    But…the older you get (stop chasing those young boys, Mel!! 😛 ) the more mature you'll see men your age becoming…

    Reply
  6. Melissa Blake says

    Tuesday, August 4, 2009 at 2:38 pm

    Thanks for the advice, Justin!

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

So About What I Said is a daily blog that covers relationships, disabilities, lifestyle and pop culture. I love to laugh and have been known to overshare. I also have an unabashed obsession with pop music, polo shirts, and PEZ dispensers. Read more...

Let's Be Friends
Pinterest
Facebook
Twitter
Instagram
Bloglovin
RSS

Contact Me
Subscribe by Email

About Us

dotted lineAbout Us
archive

Archives

So About What I Said © 2023 · Design by Maiedae · Development by High Note Designs

loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.