My curiosity got the better of me one morning, well, like it usually does. I found myself on one of my favorite Web sites, Amazon, and decided to type in love with a physical disability. Rarely have I even seen books on the issues people with physical disabilities face in finding love, finding someone who can look past the scars, the wheelchair and the stereotypes and fall in love with the person. But, then again, I hadn’t looked for such a book in a few years, so I expected times to have changed. Perhaps Obama had decided to make the issue part of his Change We Can Believe In campaign.
Boy, was I wrong. The search returned books. They are all either about raising a child with a disability (don’t get me wrong — I’m glad there’s books on that) or sexuality in people with disabilities. Heck, there’s even a book out there on the history of physical disabilities in movies. Well, I thought, shouldn’t we deal with real life first?
MY GOD! How sad is that? There are virtually no books that speak to MY life, to MY situation: the on-going struggle of bridging the ever-widening gap between my disability and its wrecking ball as an obstacle in my love life. Sheeesh. I couldn’t possibly be the first person to struggle with these feelings, could I? Were others who shared my experiences simply too afraid to write about their struggles?
That couldn’t be all the books, could it? I needed to expand my search, and nothing says expansion like my old friend Google. So once again, I Googled finding love with a physical disability.
These were the top 3 hits:
To love and be loved: sexuality and people with physical
To Love and Be Loved: Sexuality and People with Physical Disabilities (a link to another site)
Amazon.com: Raising A Child Who Has A Physical Disability
I’m not asking to find someone to shack up with here (read my Virgin Monologues for the deets on that)….I’m not that kind of girl, you know. I’d just like to find a book that at least doesn’t make me feel alone. Where are all the guys who DO NOT have a problem with a woman’s physical disability??? Have they all been captured and are being held hostage somewhere?
And if there are no books about it, does that mean I’m the problem here? Is there something inherently unattractive about me that has absolutely nothing to do with my disability. Am I using that as an excuse for why guys seemed so repulsed by me?
What do you think? Is it really me?
[Photos via ffffound]