The more I write this blog, the more I begin to think – really thinking – hard about my disability. Not as some abstract medical condition I had to deal with growing up, but what it means and will mean for my adult life now. I caught an episode of The Real World; Brooklyn when it was on a few months ago. I’m still a sap (or maybe lame loser?), but I still watch this show (I know, stone me if you like…but I do need some excitement in my life, right?). One of the girls of this season, Katelynn, is transgendered. THANK YOU, MTV! For once, they’ve actually picked someone whose story needs to be told…we’re all tired of the party boys and the mean girls already. Katelynn is by far the most amazing roommate in the house. Anyway, during this episode, she talked about her struggle with “coming out” to guys she’s dating and know when it’s the best time to tell them that she’s transgendered. You could tell just by what she said that being in this position can be agonizing for her. Imagine meeting a great guy – a guy you think, just maybe, might be different from the rest, and just “get it,” you know? Imagine being that vulnerable that you do let your guard down and have the talk, only for him to bolt like a scared little boy.
Anyway, it got me thinking: This is the one time that my disability would actually be an asset to me (not that it’s not already incredibly sexy….). Like it or not, my disability isn’t at all subtle. It’s full-on, in-your-face noticeable; like the Grand Canyon, you can’t miss it. This revelation, coupled with Katelynn’s compelling tale, made me realize that always having my disability “on the table,” for lack of a better word is actually a beautiful, marvelous thing. Yes, guys won’t automatically be able to say “Hey, she’s got….” when they first meet me (though if he were a doctor, he would, and, well, by that time, I’d have dazzled him into love anyway, so it wouldn’t really be an issue), but they would be able to see that I was different. I wouldn’t have to agonize over when to have the talk with him. What you see is what you get, and frankly, if the guy couldn’t handle it, that would be his loss.
So I suppose my disability could be my own version of a Wingman of sorts? It could help me weed out the A+ losers of the world and lead me straight to the love of my life – the guy who would love me – my disability and all.
What do you think? Could my disability work to my advantage? It’s a new way of thinking about it, for sure…
[Photos via ffffound]