Dear Mr. Melissa Blake:
Last week, my cousin and his wife had a beautiful baby boy, Christopher David. It’s exciting, as he’s the first of the “new generation,” and gosh, just typing that makes me sound – and feel – extremely old.
Don’t worry, I’m not one of those people. I didn’t grow up picking out names for my children (OK, except for the girls names, Madison and Mary Jane, if I ever have twins). I actually haven’t given much thought to the idea of having kids. Do I want them or not? Do you? I wonder when we talk about this…don’t worry, I don’t think I’ll bring it up on our first date, and if I did, well, I’m sorry.
I’m guessing our eventual talk though may have been a bit awkward, considering my disability has sort of done a number on my genes. All the geneticists say it’s almost 100 percent chance that if I have children, they will also have Freeman-Sheldon Syndrome. Did this scare you when I told you? I somehow have this vision in my head of your eyes glazing over and you running out of the room screaming, “No, not the genes. Not the genes.” Irrational, I know, but maybe I’m just getting ahead of myself here. Maybe you don’t even want kids. Maybe you’re the kind who is great with nieces and nephews, but isn’t so hot with the whole 24/7 daddy duty.
I’m rambling. I guess I just don’t want our lives to be too empty and lonely. Not that I won’t be thrilled to spend the rest of my life with you, but I’ve known some couples who have never had kids and you can tell that sometimes, it seems like something is missing. Kids are great. Kids are adorable. They’re literally and figuratively a part of you – something that you leave for the next generation, once you’re long gone. I guess I’m just saying that we should keep our options open.
I look forward to hearing your thoughts on this. Until we meet….