Morning, everyone! I’m home today, trapped because of the snow and bitter cold that’s torturing the Midwest yet again.
Actually, this gives me the opportunity to clear some things up. And thanks to Anonymous Creepster’s message yesterday, he’s provided a perfect outline for me to follow. Below you’ll find his rants and my responses in italics. This is the last time I’m giving him the attention he so obviously doesn’t deserve, but there comes a point where you have to stand up for yourself (that statement is ironic, given my ‘situation’ LOL!) and say, “You know what? You, sir, need to be put in your place?”
How’s that for sexy woman? Let me know what you think….
You have created a love and romance advice blog and have little to no experience with either.
I’ve had loss. I’ve been in love. I’ve had my heartbroken. Yes, while not the ‘traditional’ forms of experience, these instances do give me perspective nonetheless.
To the contrary, your actual story, the story of how it feels to be someone in your position, could be very interesting.
It’s OK, you can say the word disabled. I’m not a weeping willow that will shatter if that word is spoken. And you’re right. This is MY story. This is MY life. I’m not asking you – or anyone, really – to agree or disagree with me. It’s just me exploring one aspect of my life.
However, instead of expressing that, you seem to merely parrot romantic comedies and cosmo like magazines. Your idea of romance, your outmoded sense of gender politics, all of it seems to stem from a pop culture idea of what love and romance are, rather than reality.
I’m actually going to take that as a partial compliment, seeing as how I do hope to work for a women’s magazine one day; in fact, that is part of the reason I started this blog in the first place. In broader terms, I thought my tagline made it quite obvious what this blog is trying to achieve. It states:
Smart is the new sexy. Awkward is the new cool. Flawed is the new beautiful.
Yes, I want to challenge people’s perceptions of what love and beauty and sexiness mean in the modern age. There’s a whole aspect of sexiness (inner sexiness) that can be a very powerful thing. In fact, I am all of those things – smart, awkward and flawed. I’m just trying to slowly redirect people’s attention. Remember, though, I’ve only had this blog for 2 months. Rome wasn’t built in a day — I’m still tweaking and establishing my niche. This blog is bound to morph and change and evolve just as people’s emotions, views and perspectives follow along the same lines.
So while at the core, yes, I DID start this blog as a sort of peek inside the mind of a disabled woman and her search for love and trying to make people see the real me, I also wanted to show people that I’m on the same journey with them. My disability doesn’t shield me from that. I won’t lie and say that looks don’t matter at all to me; I’m realistic. People sometimes have this preconceived notion that my disability makes me somewhat immune to the issues and feelings other women have. As I’ve said before, my disability does not make me any less of a woman – I still want what every woman wants. I still have the same feelings other women have; my disability doesn’t make me any less of a woman, and I think people don’t always see that. So while I’m trying to view love in different ways, please don’t chastise me for being a woman; my disability doesn’t elevate me to some all-knowing state of being.
And I have begun to do that with this blog. In case you’ve forgotten, this post, this post, this post, this post, this post, this post, and this post touch very little, if at all, on physical attractiveness. Maybe you missed reading them.
At the end of the day, though, I’m not trying to change the world. If I can get even just one person to look at ‘smart, awkward, and flawed’ as ‘sexy, cool and beautiful,’ then that’s great. And if I can continue to live by that principle myself, then all this has been worth it. I suppose this blog, then, is just my way of navigating that journey too. I’m trying to come to some sort of balance. It’s not going to be perfect. It’s not going to be easy. But at least I’m trying.
What I am saying is that LOOKS ARE NOT THE BE ALL AND END ALL. Scratch below the surface, which actually, is pretty superficial. Dig deeper and you might be surprised at what you find.
As for why I am posting anonymously, that should be obvious. Emotions run high when it comes to issues such as disability, and the response to my first post should be a clear indicator as to why I haven’t shared my identity. People responded to my post, which was not insulting, with insults in return. In addition I was misquoted. I never used the words “Repulsive deformity.”
You’re right. You said this: It has nothing to do with your disability and everything to do with your deformity. That makes me feel so much better.
You will delete this as well, without reacting to it.
Ahhh, more proof that you really don’t know me. Never underestimate me. I just might surprise you.
P.S. Also, I’m not a serious person all the time, and I don’t want this blog to be serious all the time either. That’s why I like to mix in some fun every once and awhile (i.e. posting my funny journal entries from my teen years and recalling my crazy moments with crazy boys I had crushes on).