TO: Men all over the planet
FROM: The shy girl in the corner
RE: Talk to me!
DATE: December 30, 2008
I was just browsing the Web and found these handy dandy tips. I know, I seem so outgoing, but really I’m just pretty shy and awkward (awkwardly awesome, of course!). Anyway, men, follow these tips to win our hearts!!!
1. Determine what kind of shy your girl is.
**If she is vague and trails off when speaking, she is conversationally shy.
**If she is outgoing, but never gets past the small talk, she is cover-up shy. You might feel like she is hiding who she really is, when in fact, she may have been hurt in the past and is afraid to open up.
2. If she withdraws when you touch her, becomes more quiet or just changes herself in order to send negative signals, then she is physically shy.
Contemplate why she is shy (in whatever way), and then when you decide on a reason, speak to her.
3. Speak to her tenderly, so as not to scare her off. If you want to talk intimately about your relationship, carefully judge whether the time is appropriate and whether she seems interested or willing to converse. Begin with a question, that seeks understanding and does not seem accusatory. Use her name, and aske her something like, “Do you want to talk about something?” Questions like, “Why don’t you ever talk to me?” that are in her face are never appropriate.
4. Try to gain her trust. Just because you haven’t earned her trust yet, it does not mean she doesn’t like you! She does! Remember, she’s already going out with you.
5. Have sincere and open conversations. If relationships were games of pinball, these conversations earn you a bonus round.
6. Ease into a physical relationship. You have to move slowly, embracing and honoring her boundaries. Begin with something very subtle: a brief touch to her shoulder or forearm; politely guide her to a chair/door/etc with your hand on her back; point out a piece of lint/twig in her hair and offer to remove it. Push the envelope slowly, and be aware of how she reacts. If it’s favorable, you can gradually move on to more intimate gestures, such as tucking her hair behind her ear, holding her hand, or slipping your arm around her waist.
7. If she is physically shy then try talking to her about it but be very, very gentle. Let her know you won’t push her and you’ll be as careful and that you would never make her do anything she doesn’t want to.